Lately I've been thinking and discussing with a friend of mine about our high-school days. Even if it's not that long ago that we were dumb, disproportionately over weight, with bad hair cuts and slightly different sense of humor than the one we have now, these days seem so far away but amazing all the same.
I was watching The Laguna Beach on MTV and tried to think of what I was doing back when I was at that age and compare my life with these kids' life. For those of you who have absolutely no clue what The Laguna Beach is, it's a show on MTV following the “real” life of college/high-school graduates from Orange County California. Basically, a bunch of hot girls who like ripped successful, even at 17/8/9 guys, gossip, romance and drama. It's also about guys who surf, wear flip-flops, love parties and getting laid/make out with the previously mentioned ridiculously hot girls while eating sushi at expensive bars and while the girls are competing in bitchiness, make up wearing, high-heel wearing and sluttiness (the latter for only some of them).
Let's begin from the sense of style I had back then. First of all I had big fluffy hair that I was badly straighten every morning, I was overweight and overtly sarcastic with very little friends. I used to watch scooby doo, stupid comedies, read novels and watch The Laguna Beach. Alright, let's start the comparison then.
Back then I was wearing shorts/jeans/track suits (depending on the weather and my mood), bright color t-shirts or checkered shirts, checkered vans shoes, I was saying the wrong thing at the right time and I was secretly overweight. And when I say secretly, I mean it. No one could tell I was a fatty till I took of my shirt which didn't happen very often or not at all.
On the other hand the guys and girls from The Laguna Beach even though they're in high-school/ college they get to have the perfect body, surf and be cool all over. So, let's just say that I'm going down a peg for not having a six pack at the age of 17/18 like these kids in Laguna Beach do/did. Plus I smoked back then too so that's another peg down for me. Let's just say I fail the health/ appearance sector miserably.
Let's examine the sociability factor now. If being in a high-school team counts as being social then I'm proud to say that I was a member of our high-school basketball team. Regardless if that was for skipping classes and pretending I'm practicing with the other guys. And regardless if I barely played in any games. And regardless if at our final game and most crucial, half an hour before the game while everyone was practicing I skipped practice to buy a cheese pie, a cup of coffee and have a cigarette and then during the game I was walking up down the court doing nothing at all apart from just being there looking happy and lost at the same time, asking for a pass and a chance to screw the game for everyone. To be honest I was pretty much a burden but I enjoyed it because I got to piss my team mates off.
Now the kids in Laguna Beach are into sports like crazy and usually the “jocks” are like a family and everyone's ripped and cool and have the perfect hair and is famous. I was famous too but for all the wrong reasons. All and all I was a needle of secretly overweight clumsiness in a stack of slightly cool“jock” hay.
Continuing with the sociability factor I used to talk to only 4 people, and one of them was a "smoking buddy" of mine. From the rumors I heard when I graduated and rumors I heard when I was still in high-school most of the kids thought I was either funny or irritatingly stupid or really immature. Pretty much everyone thought I was weird, apart from my friends. Moreover, the guys from the basketball team wanted to raise money so I go to a hairdresser and shave my head. Thing that never happened. I was never invited to any parties and to the ones I was invited to I never went cause I believed I'd die of boredom.
On the other hand the Laguna Beach kids seem to throw parties every other day and have fun make out and all together have a pretty fun fun time. I'm willing to put money down that I would never be invited to any of their parties so I'm going to say that I fail miserably the sociability factor too.
Uhm what else. My kind of fun used to be going out with my best friend, dressing up in a way we thought we'd look real cool, but actually looking fat with our fringes getting in our eyes, and hanging outside a club at the center of athens with 2 souvlaki and 2 beers each, talk and judge the people who come and go from the club and say retarded jokes.
Finally I believe it's useless to talk about the relationship factor as the closest I've got to a girl was when a 2 years older girl, in her final year in high-school, who I had a crush on offered me a chewing gum while waiting to get my soda from our school's coffee shop. That was the talk of the town for me for over a month. I made all these scenarios in my head how she liked me back and that, that was her move and I kept thinking about it till I saw her kissing her boyfriend which gave me a pretty rough landing. But wait a minute, now that I think about it, there was another girl who I liked and we started talking. She had style and we listened to the same kind of music. We started sharing the same desk, I got kicked out a couple of times for talking to her during class till one day during a class she said: “I want us to be more than friends” I got really excited and I said that I'd love that too. Then she smiled and said “I want you to fuck me”. That's when I noticed that her hair was so greasy that I could see her scalp and she reeked of camel lights. I said “yeah sure...” and then after that class she stopped talking to me.
On the other hand it seems that these guys and girls from The Laguna Beach, they never run out of romance, fairy tale boning, chewing gums and shushi.
Even though it seems that I would fail miserably integrating in the society of the kids from The Laguna Beach and I'd look even weirder than I looked when in my high-school days, as these kids are a really bad imitation of grown-ups in that show, I don't believe I'd change anything that I did back then. These were my moments and every move has mine and my friends' name written all over it. The only thing I'd do if I was invited in one of the Laguna Beach kids' parties back then, is to get drunk and act in the stupidest way possible. And that only because from being too excited to be invited at a party with a mix of pretty and slutty girls. If I was invited now, I'd probably go and chill trying to look cool. Now I gotta go cause Laguna Beach is on.
Much Gangsta Luv and till the next time, bababooee
Thursday 23 June 2011
Wednesday 8 June 2011
I AM A DICK, YOU ARE A DICK THAT DOG IS A DICK TOO
Alright, I noticed lately that everyone starts saying that humans are all major dicks, and those who say that also say that they prefer animals over humans and some would rather live isolated cut from any human contact just with animals and momma nature surrounding them etc etc. I was one of them once and still am in a way sometimes. Well, this entry is to prove you that not only we're all dicks as humans, but animals are dicks as well, nature can be pretty dicky sometimes and finally to close this entry with a positive spirit I'll give you some ways I've thought that you could cope with this whole dickiness.
Well, first things first I guess. Let's discuss for a while, the reason those who claim that “all humans are dicks” might believe so. First reason that comes to my mind, is those who say that, might be really unlucky by meeting the wrong people all the time and getting fucked over again and again for ever and on. Second reason might be cause you're some sort of android and you want your tribe to take over and rule the world by turning people against each other till everything gets out of control and no human ever trusts another human being again. But let's focus on the first one.
When I say fucked over by the wrong people I don't necesseraly mean by a girl or a boy that fucked you and never called again or gave you rabies or crabs or some weird crappy STD. It can be your friends fucking you over and maybe using you. Then when you finally ditch these so call friends and find some new ones, them with their turn, they start taking advantage of you again, and again you're getting fucked over. Basically you have absolutely no luck and you're almost always the push over. So from a series of events like that you might form the opinion that people are dicks and suck ass and you'd rather save yourself all the dickiness that you might receive in the future and become a recluse. Many intellectuals were recluses but beware, being a recluse does not make you an intellectual, like drinking till you start puking blood doesn't make you a Bukowski or a Kerouac and wearing pointy shoes tight pants and holding an acoustic guitar does not make you Bob Dylan.
But when and if you find a girflriend or a boyfriend, not just someone to take your sexual frustrations out on, kiss or make out and share the same bed 4 out 7 days of the week, but someone that really means something to you then you contradict yourself as you're dating one of the dicks. And then she or he is not a dick anymore. But when you break up,especially if it happens in terms that you're getting fucked over then you return again to the familiar musical prose of “everyone is a dick”. Now the point I'm trying to make here, is that not everyone is a dick. The X has been a dick to you. The Y might be a dick ( just look at its shape) because they fucked you over till you find the H who might be nice to you for ever and on. See, it's a cycle. Hold your claps, not yet.
Alright, now that we got this out of the way, I'd like to explain why we're all dicks and most of the times act selfishly and blah blah blah. Well, to be honest there's no explanation to this. I guess it's in our nature. Not to do it on purpose of course but you know what I mean. We've all been dicks some time in our lives without realizing it and then we said “holly shit...I was a dick back then” and then we had a good laugh and forgot all about it. Or an uneasy night. Depending on the level of dickiness that was extorted on that specific time. But then again we'll be dicks plenty more times in the future intentionally or unintentionally so...yeah.
On the other hand if you chose not to continue looking for people that might not be dicks to you at some point and majorly fuck you over, then you pretty much deserve being lonely and miserable and everything that comes with keeping yourself to yourself and you should not moan about it, cause maybe I'm saying maybe, if you've tried so hard and you always fail it might not just be the other people's fault. It might be yours. Plus, by admitting that you're a dick, does not make you a nice person or cool. It just makes you some sort of the dicks' king for a moment. Freud would do backflips for me if he was alive today I know.
Now people are dicks because they are selfish and act carelessly 9 out of 10 times and they don't care about what happens around them till they're ass is at stake. But, you might come and ask, “alright, fair enough until now, but why animals are dicks as well... you dick?!” And I shall explain myself further down.
Take bears for example. Those who say that want to move to the mountains surrounded just by mother nature and bears thinking that everything will be jolly, have not thought about the fact that if bears find out where you are and they are hungry, well then they're going to eat you. Pretty dicky on their part isn't it? Even if you feed them every once in a while. When you run out of food, they'll eat you. What kind of a dick would do that?
Uhm...what else? Dogs. It's hard to find something to pin on dogs, but think about this. You own a dog, you take it out for a walk, then you clean the house. The dog is groomed and leaves hardly any hair behind and everything's fine. It climbs up on your couch to have a nap while you're watching T.V. That's fine again, cause as I said before the dog leaves barely any hair behind. And then out of nowhere it sticks its tongue out and starts staining your freshly washed couch covers with that saliva of his/hers. Now what kind of a dick would do that?!
Alright, you get where I'm going with this so let's move on to mother nature and why mother nature can be pretty dicky sometimes. Well, guess one word will do: earthquakes. Or we could see this from the jinx's side and say, rain when you want sunshine, less sunshine when you want more sunshine, no snow during Christmas, heavy snow during Christmas and being a taxi driver, getting bald when pony-tail is coming back in fashion etc etc.
Now for the positive side and a way to deal with this crazy thing called world and human beings. Even though I'm no expert on the subject as I wouldn't cast myself as the most social person out there I'd say that there is none.
The world is divided to tribes, always has been and always will be. Even when these tribes do not carry clubs and wear animal furs and dance different dances every time there's a full moon. All you need is to find your tribe and stick with it. Whether your tribe consists 10 or 2 people. Stick with your tribe but socialize with the other tribes' people cause if you don't then your “village” will get pillaged and you might end up deserted. The best way to go with it, is try and make yourself what you want other people to be. Everyone has something to offer and everyone can learn something from each other. All an all we're all pretty decent guys and girls and we should all throw a party sometime. Apart from the dicks, they won't ever learn anything no matter what and they're not invited to that party, if it ever happens.
Now here's 3 songs in one video to entertain you as a friend of mine said that the length of my entries bore him:
Well, first things first I guess. Let's discuss for a while, the reason those who claim that “all humans are dicks” might believe so. First reason that comes to my mind, is those who say that, might be really unlucky by meeting the wrong people all the time and getting fucked over again and again for ever and on. Second reason might be cause you're some sort of android and you want your tribe to take over and rule the world by turning people against each other till everything gets out of control and no human ever trusts another human being again. But let's focus on the first one.
When I say fucked over by the wrong people I don't necesseraly mean by a girl or a boy that fucked you and never called again or gave you rabies or crabs or some weird crappy STD. It can be your friends fucking you over and maybe using you. Then when you finally ditch these so call friends and find some new ones, them with their turn, they start taking advantage of you again, and again you're getting fucked over. Basically you have absolutely no luck and you're almost always the push over. So from a series of events like that you might form the opinion that people are dicks and suck ass and you'd rather save yourself all the dickiness that you might receive in the future and become a recluse. Many intellectuals were recluses but beware, being a recluse does not make you an intellectual, like drinking till you start puking blood doesn't make you a Bukowski or a Kerouac and wearing pointy shoes tight pants and holding an acoustic guitar does not make you Bob Dylan.
But when and if you find a girflriend or a boyfriend, not just someone to take your sexual frustrations out on, kiss or make out and share the same bed 4 out 7 days of the week, but someone that really means something to you then you contradict yourself as you're dating one of the dicks. And then she or he is not a dick anymore. But when you break up,especially if it happens in terms that you're getting fucked over then you return again to the familiar musical prose of “everyone is a dick”. Now the point I'm trying to make here, is that not everyone is a dick. The X has been a dick to you. The Y might be a dick ( just look at its shape) because they fucked you over till you find the H who might be nice to you for ever and on. See, it's a cycle. Hold your claps, not yet.
Alright, now that we got this out of the way, I'd like to explain why we're all dicks and most of the times act selfishly and blah blah blah. Well, to be honest there's no explanation to this. I guess it's in our nature. Not to do it on purpose of course but you know what I mean. We've all been dicks some time in our lives without realizing it and then we said “holly shit...I was a dick back then” and then we had a good laugh and forgot all about it. Or an uneasy night. Depending on the level of dickiness that was extorted on that specific time. But then again we'll be dicks plenty more times in the future intentionally or unintentionally so...yeah.
On the other hand if you chose not to continue looking for people that might not be dicks to you at some point and majorly fuck you over, then you pretty much deserve being lonely and miserable and everything that comes with keeping yourself to yourself and you should not moan about it, cause maybe I'm saying maybe, if you've tried so hard and you always fail it might not just be the other people's fault. It might be yours. Plus, by admitting that you're a dick, does not make you a nice person or cool. It just makes you some sort of the dicks' king for a moment. Freud would do backflips for me if he was alive today I know.
Now people are dicks because they are selfish and act carelessly 9 out of 10 times and they don't care about what happens around them till they're ass is at stake. But, you might come and ask, “alright, fair enough until now, but why animals are dicks as well... you dick?!” And I shall explain myself further down.
Take bears for example. Those who say that want to move to the mountains surrounded just by mother nature and bears thinking that everything will be jolly, have not thought about the fact that if bears find out where you are and they are hungry, well then they're going to eat you. Pretty dicky on their part isn't it? Even if you feed them every once in a while. When you run out of food, they'll eat you. What kind of a dick would do that?
Uhm...what else? Dogs. It's hard to find something to pin on dogs, but think about this. You own a dog, you take it out for a walk, then you clean the house. The dog is groomed and leaves hardly any hair behind and everything's fine. It climbs up on your couch to have a nap while you're watching T.V. That's fine again, cause as I said before the dog leaves barely any hair behind. And then out of nowhere it sticks its tongue out and starts staining your freshly washed couch covers with that saliva of his/hers. Now what kind of a dick would do that?!
Alright, you get where I'm going with this so let's move on to mother nature and why mother nature can be pretty dicky sometimes. Well, guess one word will do: earthquakes. Or we could see this from the jinx's side and say, rain when you want sunshine, less sunshine when you want more sunshine, no snow during Christmas, heavy snow during Christmas and being a taxi driver, getting bald when pony-tail is coming back in fashion etc etc.
Now for the positive side and a way to deal with this crazy thing called world and human beings. Even though I'm no expert on the subject as I wouldn't cast myself as the most social person out there I'd say that there is none.
The world is divided to tribes, always has been and always will be. Even when these tribes do not carry clubs and wear animal furs and dance different dances every time there's a full moon. All you need is to find your tribe and stick with it. Whether your tribe consists 10 or 2 people. Stick with your tribe but socialize with the other tribes' people cause if you don't then your “village” will get pillaged and you might end up deserted. The best way to go with it, is try and make yourself what you want other people to be. Everyone has something to offer and everyone can learn something from each other. All an all we're all pretty decent guys and girls and we should all throw a party sometime. Apart from the dicks, they won't ever learn anything no matter what and they're not invited to that party, if it ever happens.
Now here's 3 songs in one video to entertain you as a friend of mine said that the length of my entries bore him:
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