Weather Forecasts And Funerals

Alright, let's keep this entry short and be relatively quick in transmitting thoughts of ultimate constipation.

Have you ever thought what kind of weather would have on your funeral day? Not what kind of weather you wish to have. What kind of weather it would have. Just a wild guess. Have you ever thought how many people would show up? Again not how many people you wish they showed up. How about what they'll be talking about. Would there be any pass outs from any of your relatives? Would anyone cry or would anyone do an exaggerated fake/ selfish cry not because they'll miss you (which again is selfish) but because they lost something, like they cried when they were five and they lost their favorite toy. How about who would read your obituary? Would even anyone write you an obituary? What would it say? Would it be long, short, funny, weird, absolutely boring or cliché reminding everyone the good things you did leaving out all the shitty things you did. Is there really such thing, as “life flashing before your eyes" kind of experience or it's all just a bunch of bullshit to romanticize death?

If you haven't had thought of these questions until now, well now you have or you will start thinking of them.

p.s: yah beechez etc etc

Yeeeeeha...or not

The government is holding back wages and continues with the cuts. There's a group on facebook calling all the Greek people, from all over Greece, to gather at the center of Athens, Thessaloniki and Patra, the three biggest cities of Greece, today to sit- protest against the austerity measures. Another thing that is important to mention here is that no political parties are involved in this protest and no one is attending as representative of any political party.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/%CE%91%CE%B3%CE%B1%CE%BD%CE%B1%CE%BA%CF%84%CE%B9%CF%83%CE%BC%CE%B5%CE%BD%CE%BF%CE%B9-%CE%A3%CF%84%CE%BF-%CE%A3%CF%85%CE%BD%CF%84%CE%B1%CE%B3%CE%BC%CE%B1/210627972310743

Now at this point I'd like to say that I'm a bit relieved as it seems that we finally are waking up but it's still a bit late! But better late than never. Meh... A revolutionary movement when the tip of the knife has passed the flesh and started scratching the bones that protect the lungs. Pretty poetic huh? But still better late than never.

Last year, and even some months earlier, all the political parties were protesting against the austerity measures. A large amount of people were on the streets and another large amount of people were sitting at their homes watching from their t.v sets while having lunch or trying to come back home from work cursing those who had blocked the roads in protest of the austerity measures.



I went to one of these protests outside of the parliament once. In all honesty my stomach turned for a second when I saw 3 or 4 different blocks and banners from different political parties. Your saviors are laughing at your face and you still hold their banners high. I went to one of those marches to take pictures and a guy I used to talk to said: “Pff and why are you going to take pictures? You think you're a photographer or something? Pfff” Do I have to say what this guy was and still is? I bet you know what I'm going to call him...yup a major dickwad.

Plus, everyone was marching behind the block or flag of their political parties. Different marches, different blocks, different ideologies but marches and protests for the same goal with final destination the same place. The parliament. “They're a bunch of morons...of course I won't march with them. I'll be at the protest but with my Union” I heard a guy saying proudly behind his party's block.

This has nothing to do with your Unions. This has nothing to do with which political party you vote for. This has nothing to do with the brand of cigarettes you smoke, which t.v show you watch and who you think represents your political opinion best. This has to do with you, me and everyone else.

I guess this had to happen for people to realize that they're not alone on this planet and all that matters is not just their precious little ass and comfortable beds but also the person next to them. We're all philanthropists and sympathize with our neigbor's suffering only when their suffering becomes ours as well. Till then we just don't give a fuck and we pray to the lord not to happen to us. We only worry when our own life and prosperity is on the line.

This whole, "I'll march with my Union", or "I'll march behind the block of my political party" or "I'll go behind the anarchists block and start breaking things and give a big fuck you to all the others" reminds me of the good ol' “divide and conquer”.

Now they chase the so called anarchists for damage of public property. Tomorrow, they will be chasing the communists for being too whiney. Next day, they'll go for the simple left wings because they will ruin the country etc etc.

And at this point I would like to get my pipe fill it with smoke, wear my monocle and my satin robe, sit in my comfortable chair, cross my legs and recite a part from a poem that is attributed to Pastor Niemoller or Bertolt Brecht. I'm still a bit confused who's it by.


“First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me”

I'm not playing revolutionary, and of course I'd like to think that this is all for the best and it's a step forward. All I'm saying is that I'm glad that finally people decided to act together and put aside their political parties' banners. But on the other hand, I still fear that once the “storm” is over and out, everything and everyone will turn back to “normal” again. Meh...laterz.

P.S: THE PICTURE'S FROM THE PROTESTS THAT HAPPENED IN 2010. And the first one cause I'm an A-class photographer.

Meat Pies, Sandwiches And Some Panties In The Weirdest Of Twists

Dear diary and bored to the bone readers,

This entry is about guitars and averagionality, sandwiches and cheese pies, 7 year old notes, thoughts of giving up and mental slaps.

Our performance in last night's gig was below average. Mistakes were made, barely anyone showed up and all we managed was to sweat, embrace an embarrassment, spend 21 euros at the bar for 3 double southern comforts and celebrate after wards with sandwiches, beers and cheese-pies.

The owner of the bar was a major dick. If he had a whip I bet he'd use it to make us play. It was 11:30 or so and everyone was outside having the last sips from their beers. I was on stage making the last preparations when he said “alright start playing already”. I look around me and I was all alone. I look up and say, “play? I'm the only one here, everyone's outside...you want me to play alone?” He says, “yeah play already!”. So I just strum my guitar up and down and say “there you go I just played...”.

He starts yelling at my friend who was at the bar saying that he's going to cancel the gig if we don't start playing and he won't take no irony from a guy who's half his age. All his panties were in a twist at that point. I put my guitar down and go outside to tell the 10 or so people to finish their beers and come in cause the owner is going crazy, when the door man says “don't bother the gig might get cancelled.” I laugh a little and walk back in.

We get on stage and start playing. There are 4 or 5 people in the bar apart from us. During the second song the rest of the people walk in. Now we count around 15 or 20 people. Hip hip hooray. Our first three songs come out alright. No mistakes but still not perfect for us. During the third song my guitar goes off. We continue playing. We finish the song and I change the cable. The guitar goes off again and I disconnect my delay pedal completely.

We start playing the next song in the list. “Atrophy”. I start playing it a tone higher. I get pissed off and anxious as it sounds crap and in all that confusion I try to find out what's wrong. Finally I realize I'm being a major moron and I correct it at the first chorus. Then we play some covers. “Gin and Juice”, “Anarchy Camp”, “Backyard” with “Heat of the moment” as an intro. Mistakes keep happening, like playing the songs a little bit faster than we should. I'm still let down and pissed off. We finish our set.

A guy shouts “play one more song!” My friend says, “that's all we had...”. The guy says “play Anarchy Camp again!” My friend says “sorry but we can't cause we played it terribly anyway...” Then the guy says “PLAY GIN AND JUICE!” The rest of the band have started packing their stuff on stage and I just stand there confused not knowing what we're going to do. The guy looks at me and says “play the beginning of GIN AND JUICE!” I play the beginning of that song and remind everyone that we might suck but we sweat and we did it for them. Some how that joke seems to get some approval.

We get off the stage, pack our stuff and I go to the bar. I start thinking that maybe we should just call it quits. That was a hard slap on the face and maybe this isn't for us. A friend of ours from another band comes and comforts me by saying “you played alright, but shit happen, don't worry about it, I know you can play way better”. That felt nice but only for a couple of seconds, but much appreciated all the same. Never thought that nice guys like him existed. Meh, you learn something new every day.

The other band finishes playing and we head off. The clock shows 2:30 am and everyone's heading home. Me, my best friend and another friend of ours talk about getting something to eat and then head to a bar. We sit at a sandwich place and start eating and talking. At this point I start over thinking of how much we sucked and sympathy and excuses do nothing but make things worse. “maybe we should just call it quits”

I eat one sandwich, one cheese pie, a slice of pizza and ham-cheese and bacon pie. My friend eats a cheese pie, a meat pie and a sausage roll. The other guy eats a cheese pie. The clock by now shows quarter to four and we decide to head off to a bar.

We get in the car and start driving. We drive down a road where prostitutes hang out. One of them was BEAUTIFUL so me and the other friend of mine make my best friend drive down that road once more to check her out before we go to that bar we were planning to go. He moans and whines but we manage to convince him. Her face was beautiful. She didn't look worn out or tired or like a junky like some of the street prostitutes. If she was standing alone dressed less slutty she could easily be mistaken that she was waiting for someone to pick her up. But she was doing that already, but with the only difference she was waiting for anyone to pick her up.

Anyway, we drive to that bar. We get in. It was crap. We leave. We go at our friend's cafe place which he had to open it at 6 am. At this point the clock shows 4:15. We're all relatively tipsy and tired. We say the stupidest of jokes and do the stupidest of things that only a tipsy guy with no sleep would laugh with. Once again I keep thinking that maybe we should quit.

At that point I think, “fuck it. We shouldn't quit. We should try harder and yeah shit do happen. Maybe that's all we needed to wake us up and start taking things seriously.” This mental slap made everything look better this morning. I was looking at notes and lyrics written 7 years ago and they sucked hard in comparison with the notes and lyrics I have now but I kept doing this cause most of all, as much as cliché as this sounds, I do this for me. It makes me happy, plus it's one of the things that I suck less at and these are the things that everyone should hold on to and keep honing.

We're not going to become millionaires, we may never fill a bar/club, but at least it makes me happy and it makes me smile. Plus another friend of mine today told me that whilst on the bus going through his ipod he wished he had some of our music on it after being at our last night's gig and he didn't even know how much I thought we sucked cause he had to leave to catch the last bus at 12:15 a song before we finish. I want to believe he was honest and if our music makes some people smile and dance then that's all I want.

Moral of this story, is apart from, you have to find what you suck less at and keep honing it and never quit whatever gives you happiness, also, sandwiches and cheese pies and ham-bacon and cheese pies after beers and southern comfort is one of the best pleasures in life.

I love you all the same, till the next time, bababooee and always wear condoms...no matter what you do.

P.S: Can you pay a prostitute for a 15 seconds hug without fucking her? Or is there an unwritten rule that says that that's wrong? Meh...if any of you alpha males out there tries it or has tried it and know, get back to me.

Another Post

Here's another post

The Guy Who Punched Baby Jesus

Sometimes, I remember what my grandmother once said to me and asked me to never forget. “Jesus is always by your side.” That's what my grandmother used to say. Jesus is by my side when I walk. Jesus is by my side when I have lunch or dinner but he never pays for his sprite or beer. Jesus is by my side when I drive my mother's car but he keeps messing with the cd player and the radio stations changing all of my favorite songs. Jesus is by my side when I drink coffee and smoke, but he never buys his own and empties my packet. Jesus is by my side, but he pretends he's not looking when I get dragged down. But I can hear him chuckle every time this happens. Jesus is a “party bro” wearing flip flops, and the ugliest of pony tails, bullying me for being goofy and unlucky when it comes to getting laid. Jesus does the petty talk with me when I do something wrong but never celebrates with me when something goes right. Jesus lives with me but he never carries his keys and wakes me up in the middle of the night. "Let me in". Jesus has done nothing after being the main character in a book and some movies. All of them autobiographical. I wonder how does his father feel. Jesus does nothing but chuckling at my failures, smoking my cigarettes, never paying for his beer and bullying me. I'd gladly punch him, but then I think I'd be the guy who punched baby Jesus and no one would like to be facing the entire world's nuns. And nobody would want to hang with the guy who punched Jesus. And I wouldn't want to be left all alone. Or everyone would want to hang with the guy who punched Jesus but then again I don't think I could stand everyone wanting to hang out with me. Jesus that would be tiring.

Driver's License- Coffee Game Part Deux

Here's another part of that game I like to play when I go for coffee

Driver's License

One day I swear I'll escape
it's the worse of cliches
but I swear like a bird I'll fly away
I'll break free from my cage
away from fears and the rage and the stress
that keep me from sleeping

one day I swear I'll live
the life that I once was read to sleep
and like a protagonist from a story
from back when I was still a little a boy
I'll get the girl and drive away
cause it'd be a hustle to ride a horse in the city

we'll drive for days and nights
armed with favorite records and whiskey
get a house somewhere far away but I'll be driving back
every time my friends say they miss me

these are the thoughts that help me sleep
and these are the thoughts that make me hope for a better day
and most of all this the reason why I got a driver's license

p.s: railer

Ice-Creams And Funerals

Categorizing friendships and resembling them to "herpes" never made me chuckle before. I just finished writing one of the essays I have to hand in on the 6th and since this calls for a break, I thought of writing down on here something that I wrote on my way back home as I was sitting at the waiting room at the airport waiting for my flight to arrive.

So according to what I wrote while waiting for my airplane, relationships seem to fall in to three categories. Depending on the level of likeness between the two individuals, their common interests etc etc. Below I'll give you the three categories and don't go hard on me. When I wrote this it was 5:30 in the morning, I only had 2 hours sleep, I was feeling like the world had just kicked my balls and I was sitting next to a couple with a baby that was crying constantly.

To make this easier for me to explain and easier for you to understand I'll measure the likeness and the common interests between two persons with a scale from 1 to 10. So here we go:

A) 2-3/10: People that fall in this category for you, are the ones who you once met, had a relatively okay time, but you wouldn't want particularly to see them again and if you did chances are you wouldn't have a good time cause the hype of the first time meeting is now gone, the circumstances are different, you either realized he/ she is a bore or he/she has realized till now that you're a bore etc etc. Now you'll say how I can tell if one falls in this category, and I'm here to say that, there's only one way to find that out. Hang with that person again and risk to have the most boring time of your life, just to find out that the other person who falls in this category is the very same guy who would take a dump in your bed, criticize you like he knows you from way back or act like Kanye and try to steal the thunder from every moment of yours even when it's not even your moment.

B) 3-6/10: Now, in this category fall mostly what I like to call "coffee buddies" or "drinking buddies" if you find that "coffee buddies" sounds too feminine. These are the people who are either your high-school buddies, the ones you used to share the same loath for that science teacher, the same ones who you used to go to the backyard and have a sneaky cigarette and felt like big men, the ones who you used to talk about girls' boobs and the ugliest girl's in the school nose and acne. You do have things to talk about with these guys and sure spend some quality time with them but not for longer than a cup of coffee, which usually lasts for an hour or two. These are the people who you'll call once a week or once every two weeks, go out, catch up and talk about nothing at all. Basically they're there to make you feel good about yourself and vice versa. Compliment you, maybe agree with you in an argument you had with another person etc etc and all of that because they don't know you quite well to tell you "you're full of shit, shut the fuck up" and they're not the kind of assholes the people from the "A" category are to go ahead and criticize you. I'd say they're there and you're there for them both following a non-spoken agreement of give and return but in small quantities.

C) 6/10: This one's the big one. The important one. If you have more than two of these people in your life you're lucky. If again you don't then you're not lucky. Now if you're over thirty and you don't have one of these in your life, chances are your wife or girlfriend is one of them.- and it's not quite the same as it's complicated but it's better have something than nothing- Now, if you're over thirty, don't have one of these in your life and you don't have a girlfriend or wife, then not only you're not lucky but you're basically fucked. Sorry. You should start making preparations, hiring extras to come and cry at your funeral because honestly don't tell me that you actually believe that any of the above categories will show up or show up and really feels sad about you being gone. Coffee buddies and random strangers that fall in the "A" category come and go just like herpes, but they're less annoying. And they're wanted. But anyway. So yea, start making preparations, hire extras, maybe if you can afford it, some real quality young actors as well to bawl their eyes out in the front seats. Anyway, you got the point about which people belong in this category. Friends or best friends. Call them as you may. These are the ones who you can confide to, have drinks with, expect them and wanting them to judge you because you know they're doing it because they care and mean well. These are the ones who are not ashamed of who you are, what you do or whatever you say.

Now, I'll go a few lines up and say that in this category, might also fall the girl/boy you'll end up being with and sharing a house, but the irony is that you can never be certain about them till they're beside you through your whole life and by your bed side when you're 80 you shit yourself faster than the speed of light, coughing and slowly dying. So, if you're lucky, them along with your other friends who belong in this category are the ones who will make all the funeral arrangements for you. Pay for you. Decide the quality of your casket and maybe cry at the front seats for your loss or be happy that you finally got out of your misery.


That was it! Who wants to grab an ice-cream and have some fun with me one of these days?