We all had a geek once during our school years. I'm not talking about the goofy nerd. Don't get them two confused. I'm talking about the annoying geek who would suck up to the teacher, always was prepared and sneer at you when you didn't know the answer and was ready to cry when the teacher wouldn't pick him/her to come up to the chalk board.
Well, when I was 14, in junior high-school we had this girl and she could easily be crowned queen of the geeks. Her hair was always greasy and she used to dress like she had no mirrors in her house. Even during intermission she'd hang alone revising the chapters of the class we had next, plus some of the chapters forward, she'd read on her own, while the rest of the us (that including me and some of my friends) were busy playing spit wars, pinching and giving dead arms to each other. Plus, she had that superior look on her face. I'm not saying that I was someone that a girl with her maturity would look as equal but it was junior highschool godammit come on.
Anyway, every time a teacher picked her to read a chapter from a book she'd wear that look on her face, boast in a silent way, and started reading with an authoritative steady voice. No matter what happened she wouldn't stop reading if the teacher didn't tell her to.
One day a teacher tells her to read a chapter and from the way she was speaking you could tell she had runny/stuffed nose. She blows her nose discreetly and wipes it, saying “of course I will” and starts reading. The rest of the class pretended to pay attention to her dull voice reading over a more boring text when out of the blue we hear her sneezing and a “blup” noise. She doesn't stop reading. I turn around and I see a small green bubble of snot hanging from her nose. I nudge the guy next to me and we chuckle. Then the other guys notice it as well. I look at the teacher and she looks a bit disgusted but she doesn't say anything. She doesn't stop the robot to wipe her nose.
A few paragraphs later that green ball of snot has turned to a greenish/white stream running from her left nostril down to her lips. She was using the tip of her tongue to prevent it from getting on her lips and stop her from reading. Me and the guy next to me, sitting in the middle row 2 desks from the end, have buried our faces in our hands and try not to make our laughter audible to our teacher.
After a while the teacher stops her and we start discussing what she read. I didn't have a clue what the text she'd read was about as I was too busy paying attention to her licking her snot, so I decide instead of participating in the conversation, to tell my friend a joke I'd heard that morning. I tell him the joke and he bursts out laughing. The teacher looks at us and ask us what we find so funny in that religious text. I keep a straight face while my friend keeps laughing hard and the teacher says to my friend “Alright you...come and sit in the front row...”. So, she separates us.
But my friend made the tragic mistake leaving the sandwich he'd just bought during intermission beneath our desk. He turns around as the teacher starts writing on the black board. I take his sandwich out. He makes a signal that if I touch it one more time I'm dead. Needless to say I took a big bite out of it and then when tried to give me a dead arm during intermission I got away and back in the class and spat on his backpack and then we took the spit-war into a whole new level.
p.s: During the same intermission that we took the spit-war to a whole new level, we found out that the geek had shat herself. Now we were saying that “she shit herself” but I'm not pretty sure if she'd really shat herself, but all the marks were there: BROWN STAIN ON THE BACK OF HER PANTS, THE SMELL OF SHIT AND EVEN A FLY FOLLOWING HER AROUND. Come on, could you blame us?
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