To Throw A Party And Fail Miserably

In fifth grade I threw the lamest birthday party ever. Don't know if those who attended still remember and laugh or scoff, but I do, because it was dull. But I liked it then for some reason.

6 People showed up. 4 guys and 2 girls. Not so Gatsby-like I watched my guests getting bored to death while I was hoping the cake eating moment would be as exciting to them as it was for me. My mother had ordered pizzas. 4 of them as I'd invited the whole class and waited for everyone to show up. After all it was a Saturday.

Most of them left in groups of 3 after the cake was shared and happy birthday was sung. My place was empty in 30 minutes and I was left alone with 3 and a half pizzas and half of chocolate birthday cake.

A year later I made the same mistake and this time it came swinging back at me. It was for my “name day” this time. I invited the whole class, and since my name day falls towards the end of Christmas Holidays which means no school, I imagined everyone would come. So I invited the whole class. Again.

Clock showed 8pm and everything was set. Cheese pie, sausage rolls, bowls filled with chips, platters with pizza slices, 4 bottles of Coke and 2 of Sprite. But no one had showed up. An hour later someone rang the main entrance’s bell. I answer it and an adult's voice tells me that it’s one of my friends’ father with his son. I get excited and run towards the door, open it and wait for the elevator to come up. When the elevator stops on my floor a priest opens the door and comes out smiling ear to ear. No friend of mine. Just a priest smiling -he was here, as it’s a custom for priests to perform some kind of ritual to conjure the house from all the bad spirits and let God in on my name day-

Needless to say that apart from the priest who showed up uninvited no one else showed up at my second party either and I ended up playing playstation, reading extracts from random books and listening to music.

Now the reason I’m telling you all this is because my country’s economy is so fucked up that I don’t think the generation that’s growing up now will ever be able to say “I threw a party with lots of food and soda and no one came” because they’ll simply won’t be able to throw a party.I feel privileged that I had the chance to throw a party and fail miserably. HA!

P.S: If you’re throwing a party please invite me. I’ll B.M.O.B and behave I promise. Oh I also dressed up as Gangsta Mickey Mouse for Halloween. Keepin it real and goofing it up homez.

Schlong Shaped Balloons

A couple of days ago I went to a release party/punk rock show. They had balloons hang outside, everyone was smiling and the main band was selling their album and t-shirts. I bought neither. I had enough money to get a couple of beers and then a taxi home as I'd surely miss the train by the time the whole thing was over. They even had balloons hang over the stage, arranged in a way that they formed a penis. Or a dick. Or schlong.

A friend of mine who played in one of the supporting bands gave me his ticket for a free beer. Eventhough I'm not a beer fun, and I must admit that I find it quite boring, I couldn't do otherwise as the rum & coke was expensive and the whiskey and coke like wise. So I got my beer and shared it with him till he had to go and play.

Once again I felt like swimming in an ocean of hipness and brosness. Skinny jeans, tatoos, coolness, hipness, pretty girls and lead singers' girflriends. Everyone knew everyone. It was like a family dinner party and I was the weird relative that no one'd ever heard of. Or more like the friend of that weird relative.

Now let's not get bitter. It's nice having an audience when trying, and the chances of failing miserably are 50/50. Especially when that audience is your friends and know that the least you'll get is a tap on the shoulder and a "nice job dude" no matter what happens. The pain is less and gets numbed by sympathy, but I've come to believe that I'd rather have it straight. I'd rather fail miserably and been told that I did rather than having false hopes or expectations.

If I take the fall I want to take the fall head first and fail by doing it right. Because if you don't fail you'll never win. And because winners are past losers. I love it when I get philosophical. I don't want to do it half-assed with a net waiting to catch my fall down there.

Having said that I'm going to put it out there and say that the bands I saw, played alright except from the last one which managed to butcher one of their own songs that I'd listened and liked on their website.

Right, I'm going to keep this short and go read some, practice some, make some coffee and chill wit C.D.C. M (Chester Da Cat Mothafucka).

Till next time, Bababooee and keep goofing it up