To Throw A Party And Fail Miserably

In fifth grade I threw the lamest birthday party ever. Don't know if those who attended still remember and laugh or scoff, but I do, because it was dull. But I liked it then for some reason.

6 People showed up. 4 guys and 2 girls. Not so Gatsby-like I watched my guests getting bored to death while I was hoping the cake eating moment would be as exciting to them as it was for me. My mother had ordered pizzas. 4 of them as I'd invited the whole class and waited for everyone to show up. After all it was a Saturday.

Most of them left in groups of 3 after the cake was shared and happy birthday was sung. My place was empty in 30 minutes and I was left alone with 3 and a half pizzas and half of chocolate birthday cake.

A year later I made the same mistake and this time it came swinging back at me. It was for my “name day” this time. I invited the whole class, and since my name day falls towards the end of Christmas Holidays which means no school, I imagined everyone would come. So I invited the whole class. Again.

Clock showed 8pm and everything was set. Cheese pie, sausage rolls, bowls filled with chips, platters with pizza slices, 4 bottles of Coke and 2 of Sprite. But no one had showed up. An hour later someone rang the main entrance’s bell. I answer it and an adult's voice tells me that it’s one of my friends’ father with his son. I get excited and run towards the door, open it and wait for the elevator to come up. When the elevator stops on my floor a priest opens the door and comes out smiling ear to ear. No friend of mine. Just a priest smiling -he was here, as it’s a custom for priests to perform some kind of ritual to conjure the house from all the bad spirits and let God in on my name day-

Needless to say that apart from the priest who showed up uninvited no one else showed up at my second party either and I ended up playing playstation, reading extracts from random books and listening to music.

Now the reason I’m telling you all this is because my country’s economy is so fucked up that I don’t think the generation that’s growing up now will ever be able to say “I threw a party with lots of food and soda and no one came” because they’ll simply won’t be able to throw a party.I feel privileged that I had the chance to throw a party and fail miserably. HA!

P.S: If you’re throwing a party please invite me. I’ll B.M.O.B and behave I promise. Oh I also dressed up as Gangsta Mickey Mouse for Halloween. Keepin it real and goofing it up homez.