Summer camp circa 2005. My best friend tells me about this summer camp he used to go for the past 3 years. I really hated summer camps since I was a little kid but I decide to tag along. He tells me that every year a group of French kids comes and stays there for 2 weeks. We high-fived each other and off we went. On the “disco” night and I still cringe years after the event and seconds after I wrote the name of the night I met Elodie. It was me against my poor French, her poor English, my inability to dance and her friend who wouldn't leave her side. Her friend left for a second and I asked her as quickly as I could ”do you want to go for a walk?” to my surprise she said yes.
Now, I don't know how things worked at the campsite you guys used to go when you were kids, but the make out point at the specific campsite was the swing sets. Right behind the main "event area" and next to the small basket ball courts. I'd never been there. At least not to make out with a girl. I'd heard stories and all but never had my own.
So, as we are walking outside the event area and towards the swing sets, I manage to put my hand around her shoulder. Then she turns around as we keep on walking and says “I have a boyfriend”. She didn't know much English but she knew how to say that. As I go to take my hand off of her shoulder and say “oh sorry...” she holds my hand down and says “he not here...France”.
Now, I have absolutely no idea why she'd give me that information but she did. I'd stopped thinking about it a couple months after it happened but I remembered it again a couple of nights ago. That girl was satanic. “I have boyfriend, France, but me make out with you at the swing sets yes?” Anyway, he was in France, she was in Greece, she'd kept my hand around her shoulder and I was back in the game. I was wearing the biggest smile. Like I was on one on one with the goal keeper and I was going to score and give my team the victory. She was pretty and soon I'd have my own story from the swing sets.
Steps away from the swing set area, a fat guard shows up and says in that authoritative voice that guards have: “where you two think you're going?” I say...”we thought of going to the swing sets and sit for a while...” the bastard smiles and laughs. He knew all about it and he says: “yeah right..you're not allowed to...back to the main area with the rest of the kids.” Some minutes later, when the lighting was low and the untalented dj was playing cheesy slow songs right after a fast pop song, I saw her kissing and dancing with one of our group leaders who was 20years old or something at the time.
My chance of having my own story from the swing sets was long gone. I told my best friend's cousin and a good friend of mine and for some weird reason after telling him I wanted to show him as well. We watched them kissing and dancing and he said something that can not be translated in English. Then after 10 seconds of re-witnessing my failure we walked back to where all the other guys were.
The very next morning my best friend told me that the previous night him and another guy had managed to sneak in the swing sets area with two other French girls. The girls were being extremely slutty and loud lifting their skirts as they were swinging on the swings and showing them their thongs. Then the guard came and told them to leave too. I know this story is true because the same night I got all Frenched out, I remember losing him for a while and then seeing him talking with one of the French girls as he was coming back from the swing set area.
The moral of this story is that to make it in this world you either have to speak French, know how to slow dance, be smooth enough and have the ability to sneak in the swing set area, or look like a moronic bald washed out raver that wears vests to show off the muscles you don't have. The theory applies if you replace the rave fashion with a current fashion.
p.s: if you had any idea why she'd go and mention the French boyfriend and then keeping my hand around her shoulder feel free to contribute.
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