Thursday, 24 December 2009

Eat The Cake And Dance While Drinking Cheap Champagne

Well now, I lied. There’s not going to be a part II of the previous blog. There are things far more important than sitting and presenting myself as a random “boy”, storytelling a tail that is still under construction and trying to reach to a conclusion. To put it in another way, I’m bored as hell of writing this piece of crap, that piece of crap is boring by itself and last but not least it’s Christmas. Tis the season to be jolly falalalala falafel and kebab.

3 weeks. That’s all we need to be merry and then we’re all allowed to be miserable cranky or pissed off at whatever we were before. No matter what problems you have during the Christmas holidays YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to wear a frown cause the big man with the red uniform has you on his list and he’s going to check it twice. He’s going to make sure if you were naughty, asshole or nice. And then if he finds that out he’s going to make up his mind. And either way you’re going to lose. Because he’s wearing the uniform, he has the sledge, he is allowed to be overweight, wear a beard and weird looking glasses, he’s allowed to be looking at you while you’re sleeping and he will never get arrested for that. Why? Cause he’s the man. And either you’re a male or female he’s still the Man. You’re not.

Why does everyone get so hyped about Christmas? The weirdest thing of it all is that if you ask any of these suckers if they believe in Santa they’ll give you a grin and walk on their merry ways of shopping and consumption of chocolate. There is another funny thing. These suckers are not nice or smile to half of the people they are nice to and smile to before or after the Christmas holidays. If they see you giving more than 1 cigarette to a junky or a homeless man they’ll call you crazy and laugh at you. If they see you giving more than 1 euro, woo boy then you’ll be the laugh of the town.

Just come out of the closet and admit it. Not that you’re gay. Just say it. Come on. “I love Christmas holidays because I like going shopping, walking like a sheep with the rest of the crowd in the flooded with people market street and hold hands with the person that I was a dick to until today.” But, I must admit all these lights and all the fancy decoration, which at some places is the tackiest that it gets, really do make you feel better even when you’re down and almost out.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that less and less kids come out these days to sing the Christmas carols from door to door. I remember the time when I couldn’t sleep at night, when I was 7 or 8 years old, and I was spinning in my bed at midnight the day before Christmas’ eve because I knew that I had to wake up at six in the morning and go and sing the carols with my brother and another friend of ours. Then with the tips that they’d give us we’d go and buy our own Christmas presents for ourselves. No matter the weather conditions, we used to do that.

But who am I to judge? I love Christmas. Even though I do believe that Christmas without snow is like porn with no blowjob. The carolers will always be on their merry ways singing and being all jolly and I will be expecting them. Ho ho ho I’m as cliché as all of you people. I love Christmas and I love Santa even though I know he doesn’t exist because in a way it makes me feel younger.

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