As Cliche As A Rom-Com Can Be

Time flies, right buddy ol’ pals of mine? It’s as cliché and cheesy as the worst of rom-coms, but hell it’s as true and hard as a heart-attack. Time flies,  -for me- people don’t change but they learn to adapt, some things change for the better others for the worst but whichever the case might be I’m of the opinion that whatever happens we bring it to ourselves –minus some cases-

As weird as it may sound I wrote this intro to begin telling you what I talked about for 2 hours with that 45 year old or something German bar owner when in Berlin.

We were staying in West Berlin as I might have mentioned in the previous entry. We booked in advance at a cheap hotel in a very posh area of West Berlin without knowing. In an area where the prices from the shops’ windows didn’t fall beneath the 250 euros and the price of a watch could pay 2 days’ meals and clothing of 2 families.

When I asked what was the deal and all the bars were empty or closed she told that once West Berlin used to be the place to be. It used to be full of artists, painters, bohemians and “free spirits” and students.  She also told me that once West Berlin used to be “alive” 24/7 and the bars were mostly packed every hour around the clock.  Now people travel to West Berlin to do business and then they leave.

The shops’ windows are there for those who can afford these kinds of things, only because, people who can afford these things come around that neighborhood anymore. That’s when I finished my beer and asked for another one. And as the bar was empty she said that the next one was on the house.

She said that she misses the days like 10 or 15 years ago when every bar in West Berlin was never empty and people didn’t have to work 2 or 3 jobs just to get by. The unemployment rate was low, everyone had a job and could get by just fine.

Nowadays there are more than 3 places where you can get daily meals for 3 euros and the buildings for homeless people are usually packed. From supermarkets to church donations, more and more people get sacked or remain unemployed and the lucky few, like one of her friends, have to work 14 hours a day –factory and old people’s homes- and still get some kind of welfare just to get by and be able to pay rent and send their kids to school.

She also told me about old neoclassical buildings in East Berlins, with big houses, which are now inhabbited by two or three families each house and 14 year old pregnant girls with baby-trolleys, high-school degrees to get and a baby to feed.


Now she might did exaggerate a little bit she might didn't. But either way, even if the situation is half as bad as she painted it to be, to me this still sounds as scary as a quadruple anal scene does to even the most experienced of female porn-stars out there - as I'd like to think it does.-


Till next time, keep goofing it up and bababooee.

Eat The Cake And Dance While Drinking Cheap Champagne

Well now, I lied. There’s not going to be a part II of the previous blog. There are things far more important than sitting and presenting myself as a random “boy”, storytelling a tail that is still under construction and trying to reach to a conclusion. To put it in another way, I’m bored as hell of writing this piece of crap, that piece of crap is boring by itself and last but not least it’s Christmas. Tis the season to be jolly falalalala falafel and kebab.

3 weeks. That’s all we need to be merry and then we’re all allowed to be miserable cranky or pissed off at whatever we were before. No matter what problems you have during the Christmas holidays YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to wear a frown cause the big man with the red uniform has you on his list and he’s going to check it twice. He’s going to make sure if you were naughty, asshole or nice. And then if he finds that out he’s going to make up his mind. And either way you’re going to lose. Because he’s wearing the uniform, he has the sledge, he is allowed to be overweight, wear a beard and weird looking glasses, he’s allowed to be looking at you while you’re sleeping and he will never get arrested for that. Why? Cause he’s the man. And either you’re a male or female he’s still the Man. You’re not.

Why does everyone get so hyped about Christmas? The weirdest thing of it all is that if you ask any of these suckers if they believe in Santa they’ll give you a grin and walk on their merry ways of shopping and consumption of chocolate. There is another funny thing. These suckers are not nice or smile to half of the people they are nice to and smile to before or after the Christmas holidays. If they see you giving more than 1 cigarette to a junky or a homeless man they’ll call you crazy and laugh at you. If they see you giving more than 1 euro, woo boy then you’ll be the laugh of the town.

Just come out of the closet and admit it. Not that you’re gay. Just say it. Come on. “I love Christmas holidays because I like going shopping, walking like a sheep with the rest of the crowd in the flooded with people market street and hold hands with the person that I was a dick to until today.” But, I must admit all these lights and all the fancy decoration, which at some places is the tackiest that it gets, really do make you feel better even when you’re down and almost out.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that less and less kids come out these days to sing the Christmas carols from door to door. I remember the time when I couldn’t sleep at night, when I was 7 or 8 years old, and I was spinning in my bed at midnight the day before Christmas’ eve because I knew that I had to wake up at six in the morning and go and sing the carols with my brother and another friend of ours. Then with the tips that they’d give us we’d go and buy our own Christmas presents for ourselves. No matter the weather conditions, we used to do that.

But who am I to judge? I love Christmas. Even though I do believe that Christmas without snow is like porn with no blowjob. The carolers will always be on their merry ways singing and being all jolly and I will be expecting them. Ho ho ho I’m as cliché as all of you people. I love Christmas and I love Santa even though I know he doesn’t exist because in a way it makes me feel younger.

The Word

In a former blog of mine I was talking about 20 year old University students that after 2 years or 3 studying in a University, have learnt EVERYTHING about politics when infact what they know best is to produce idiotic puns and reciting words that not even a book in the fascist Germany of 1940 would have.

You can't be left, you can't be right, you can't be labelled as a "commie", "anarchist" or whatever label you want to put. But you can do that and look like a rumbling idiot if you wish, because simply you can't know everything and have opinion about EVERYTHING when you're only 20 or 21 years old. Get it straight.

"OOOOH look at me I'm gonna start rumbling about politics like I know every little thing...I'll tell all my friends and try to get the message across for someone that doesn't even know me and probably doesn't give two flying fucks if I exist or not...you know what else is so cool...using the word "commie" it gives an essence of 40's in my speech and makes me look sooooo cool" good job...that's why you're officially a MORON...it seems that you did your homework before you get out of your parents' loving arms and out to the cruel society and you're ready to impress everyone. Good Luck